literature

All Things End: Part 88

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Chapter 88: Mr. Wiggles V.S. Nature

Computer spent the rest of the afternoon enduring the hell that was this little girl. He narrowly managed to avoid having to eat a mud pie, which she had deemed a 'dog treat'. She forced him to endure another round of 'petting' and he was amazed that he had any fur left after she was done. Finally, since she didn't have a real dog leash, she had taken one of her father's belt and latched it around his neck. She had all but choked him to death from it and it only got worse when she started to race around the backyard, dragging him along with her.

“Can't we stop now?” He begged, collapsing at her side.

It was nearly dark now. Didn't this kid have a bed time? The sooner she'd go to sleep, the sooner he could escape this nightmare...

The little girl gasped. “Mr. Wiggles, look!” She yelled, pointing over at that tree from before.

“What?” He asked. Was she seeing things again? This kid was obviously crazy...

She ran over to the tree, dragging him along with her. He stifled a groan as he slid along. She gasped again once they got there and then reached down to pick something up.

“Oh, no! Mr. Wiggles, look!” She exclaimed. There was a big eyed, disproportionately sized baby bird in her palms. “He must have fallen out of his nest!”

The bird stared dumbly up at her. It broke out into a wide, toothy grin and waved it's finger-like feathers at her. It started to blush like an idiot and Computer grimaced.

“Just drop it! He's probably diseased or something.”

The bird turned to him and blew a raspberry.

“Don't talk like that, Mr. Wiggles!” She scolded him. “Climb up there and put him back into his nest before his parents can abandon him!”

“What? Why do I have to do it?” He asked, crossing his arms and glaring at her.

“Hurry, his mom and dad won't come back if he's not up there!”

“I'm not climbing anywhere, thank you very much!”

Wordlessly, she reached down and plopped the baby bird onto his head. “Hurry, Mr. Wiggles! Climb!”

He tried to protest further but then she pushed him forward until his muzzle was practically smashed up against the tree.

“I don't even know how to climb!” He yelled. “You're a child, you probably know how to climb better than any....ouch!” The baby bird pecked him between his eyes and pointed a feather upward. He grit his teeth, cursed under his breath, and dug his paws into the bark.

Ten minutes later and he was barely even halfway up. Climbing was not only difficult but tiring as well. The little girl kept cheering him on but it only served as an annoyance much more than a motivational outlet. The baby bird's parents must have finally realized what was going on because they started to swoop in and peck at him, the baby cheering them on the whole way.

“Stupid birds!” He growled between clenched teeth.

Finally, after what felt like ages, he clamored up onto the tree branch that housed the baby's nest and plopped him down inside of it. The mother bird landed beside him and pushed him away so hard that he almost got knocked off the branch. He glared at her, still panting from the outrageous climb, and backed away.

“That's the thanks I get, huh?” He asked, crossing his arms. “Ungrateful avian!”

CLUNK

He grit his teeth, eye twitching again. Another acorn had just collided with his head. He clenched his fists and turned.

CLUNK

Another acorn struck him. That squirrel from before was sitting in a hollowed out portion of the trunk, tossing his reserves of acorns at him. It smiled and waved, tossing an acorn up and down in it's single free paw.

“YOU!” He growled, his entire body trembling with rage. “I'm on your level now, you little monster! Prepare to die!”

The squirrel yawned and turned back into it's hollow. Computer all but exploded at the sight of it.

“YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS TIME!” He yelled, racing across the branch to get to him. “What are you, a squirrel or a chipmunk? Come face me like a man, you scaredy squirrel.”

He brought his face up to the hole. The squirrel was there with what looked like a tiny army hat and....a squirrel sized bazooka made out of wood?”

Computer blinked and let out a laugh. “What's that? Is that supposed to actually be threatening? Are you going to shoot tiny acorn bombs at me or...”

BOOM

He was sent flying backwards as a high velocity acorn struck him in the nose. He narrowly missed the branch and had to grab a hold of it to keep himself from falling. He pulled himself back up and clenched his teeth again.

The squirrel jumped out of his hollow and chattered insults at him. He jumped up and down and did a mock impression of Computer getting hit by the weaponized acorn.

The glowing dog clenched his fists again, absolutely furious with the tiny nuisance. He had to flinch when the sound of laughed caught his attention. The family of birds was laughing at him from over by their nest...

He dove at the squirrel, who easily climbed away on nimble feet. “I'm not letting you leave here alive!” He yelled, watching as the squirrel continued to climb higher and higher. He dug his fingers into the trunk and began to climb up after it.

“Wait until I get my hands on you, you little....”

He pulled himself up onto the branch that the squirrel had gotten off on. They were ridiculously high up now with no other place to climb. The tiny little monster was still hurling insults at him from the tip of the branch. He smirked at it, cracking his knuckles and getting ready to exact his revenge.

“Nowhere else to run!” He called out to it. “I think I'm going to make squirrel stew out of you. Got any preferences?” He asked, glaring maliciously at the tiny critter. He took a step forward and the squirrel merely yawned again. “I'll teach you to throw acorns at me!” He growled.

He dived at the squirrel again. The tiny monster jumped clear over him and landed behind him without so much as stumbling. He hit the edge of the branch and almost got flung right off it, still squirreless and still absolutely fuming.

“You think you're so smart, don't you?” He growled, trying to balance himself out on all fours. The branch was very thin where he was and it kept wobbling with his every move. “I swear, when I get my hands on you, I'll....”

CRACK

His eyes widened and he felt his stomach drop out from under him. He slowly turned, fearing what he would find. There was a massive crack in the branch. If he so much as breathed on it it would break, taking him with it....

The squirrel smiled.

Computer's ears drooped and he shook his head. “W-wait! I, er, I didn't mean any of that about the killing you and the turning you into stew. L-let's be f-friends! H-how about it, p-pal?”

The squirrel raised his foot.

Computer was starting to become very much aware of how high this tree was...

“C-come on! You wouldn't do this to a helpless dog, now would you? You've beaten me! I admit it! Now please, let me...”

The squirrel placed his foot down onto the crack. There was another loud snap and...

“You son of a...” Computer started, but then the branch fell away.

CRASH

“Mr. Wiggles!” The little girl cried out. She reached down and pulled Computer out of a dog shaped hole...

“Uuugghh.” He groaned, coughing up a twig....

“Mr. Wiggles, are you okay?” She asked.

End Of Chapter  

A/N: Moral of the story? Don't mess with nature, kiddies. It's majestic as fuck.
.....
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